INVISIBILITY PT. 3

THE FATHER'S HEART THROUGH A MOTHER'S EYES

Monday-

Let me be honest. This has been a brutal week. I don’t know why, but for some reason, I’ve been at my worst, felt under absolute attack in ALL the exact areas I’ve even been mentioning these past weeks on this blog! I have run the gamut from feeling utterly worthless, incompetent and overwhelmed at the thought of my 5th child on the way- all the way to completely undone by ‘normal’ housework, invisible to the maximum capacity, overloaded by everything still on my ‘to do’ list as well as every little person for whom it was created and utterly futile in things even remotely resembling a ‘goal.’

In fact, a few nights back, Aaron read me a quote along these lines: ‘What you will receive when you reach your destination is nothing compared to who you will be when you reach your destination,’ by Zig Ziglar.

He meant to encourage me. I force-nodded and said, ‘uh-huh,’ but had ZERO ability at the time to apply it to MY life at all. He asked me what the half hearted response was about, and I thought, in a scream- (Do you do that? YELL or SCREAM your thoughts from time to time? I call it self-control - since I'm sparing others from hearing it aloud, but mostly so I don’t feel like such a beast…) – but I scream-thought, IT MEANS: " YEAH, BUT YOU HAVE A DESTINATION!!!”

Hello? Who am I writing this blog? HOW on Earth is God allowing ME to say ANYTHING on His behalf with this……ug... perspective…. And so we're back to it: perspective. I have a feeling this week’s bit is mostly FOR me. A lesson for which I’m overdue. You may ride along if you’re on my track…or if you simply enjoy seeing someone else get a ‘spanking,’ but I get the overwhelming impression that I’m getting my ‘lesson’ out loud here!!!

Tuesday-

So, THAT was up until Saturday night........

THEN, this morning in church it hit me. My pastor said one simple thing- not even related, really, to this topic. He referred us to Revelation 1:1 as a simple reference point, around which his entire message would orbit. But for me, IT was the sun. Not even the whole verse, simply the first line of the first verse… He said, “This is the revelation, the unveiling of Jesus Christ…”. He went on to speak of why NOT to argue over the mysteries of the text, but to keep the focal point on the fact that our goal is TO SEE JESUS. And that was all I needed. Perspective back on track, and just think- it only took me a week in MY day-to-day Mommy world to get OFF track and about 15 minutes in God’s House to get back on!

IT IS OUR GOAL: TO SEE JESUS! EACH AND EVERY ONE OF OUR GOALS! HOURLY. DAILY. LIFE-LY. PERIOD.

It is my goal. Your goal. Every career person, bed-ridden, healthy, sick, rich, poor, distinguished or overlooked person’s goal. Or it should be. Duh! How have I even let God inscribe the preciousness of this journey I'm on as not only a mother, but a person without KNOWING that goal like I know the sight of my own children? How is it possible to forget? To get consumed by the trials of the hour, the day to the point that my end destination is simply called, 'midnight'- by which time most 'stuff' is done? How is that possible?

NOW- now I can hear the quote Aaron gave me and ‘get’ it.

‘What you will receive when you reach your destination is nothing compared to who you will be when you reach your destination.’

NOW, how much sense does that make???????? I GET IT! I’M RENEWED! I HAVE MY GOAL BACK and firmly in place, and it's true: there is NO WAY I’ll be the same woman on the other end of seeing Jesus as my goal each day than I have been flopping around in my warped perspective of invisibility this week! Nose in our bibles or not: SEEING Him is different...

Wednesday-

Let me just confess: I am so genuinely humbled, and have NO qualifications to write this particular message, but God is faithful and merciful and I could NOT be more grateful. I feel like Paul this very moment, only without the credentials and most certainly without the words. May I borrow them?

“15Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. 16But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life. 17Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen.” (1 Timothy 1:15) AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!


Thankfully, (for ME), Paul referenced his sinful past in vs 13, and even his sinful present in (Rom 7:15,19,21). I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do ... (19) For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing ... (21) So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me.”

My heart surges in me! THANK GOD FOR PAUL!!!!
Ahem.
Me in Godly-mode: “Why because he was such an example to others, of course….”
Me in Leanne-mode: “Phew! If there’s hope for him, then there’s hope for me!!!!!”

Anyway- This crucial ‘spanking’ (filled with love I’m sure, since He saw me all week and is still allowing me to even write these words!...) has lead me straight INTO our topic again!

Perspective on who we are and what we are doing…..

We’ve focused intently on the esteem of motherhood, how highly God regards this role in which He’s placed us. And I am glad we have. I want that foundation set in our hearts like stone. It is a truth upon which I believe many lessons of motherhood will build. It matters HUGELY to God that we honor Him by acknowledging the ‘domain’ over which He’s given us stewardship- IT MATTERS THAT YOU KNOW THAT YOU AND THE JOB YOU ARE DOING IS PRECIOUS AND DEAR TO HIS HEART…..

HOWEVER-

…being a mother is NOT who we are. It is a part of who we are. It is a huge part of what we do, what we were meant, purposed, intended to do. It is an admirable and cherished calling, no doubt. That of a shepherd- SO close to God’s heart. But we have to remember that IT IS NOT WHO WE ARE.


Thursday-

So, who are we? Is this the stuff of Sunday school? Perhaps, but whoever said going back to reclaim our childlike faith was a bad thing? Let's do, for a moment.

“See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ. For in Him all the fullness of Deity dwells in bodily form, and in Him you have been made complete.” Col 2: 8-10
...which pretty much takes care of that issue.....but how easily we forget, yes?

Anything else that promises to complete us is an elementary principle. And I’m not talking about anything other than motherhood. I'm including it.

I want to stop for a moment to interject here, since we’ve focused so fully our attention on the high calling of being a Mom (in order that we might honor and cherish this position God has given us, but also IN IT, recognize the honor and cherishing of US by our Father in having given it to us!). Also, because we spend literally 24 hours a day BEING a Mom, it’s easy to allow it to ‘become’ us. But, if I may digress here, I feel compelled to remind myself, and any of you who may fall into the same trap as I, that even finding our completion in being a Mom is false. The text says nothing of it! It says in HIM we have been made complete. Mom or not. Career or not. Servanthood in the ministry or not. In Him. Period.

Even for all we've considered IN honoring our roles as mothers, it could be confusing- but we are NOT to assume our identity in Christ has been found the moment we conceived a child, adopted a child, became a Mom. Our identity in Christ happens the moment our lives are given over to and we are hiddin "IN HIM". Motherhood itself could be, even as Christians, something that steals our rightful identity if we let it! Doesn't that seem strange?

There is a balance required here: being a mother is a calling, a purpose, a role, a pathway set before us by the Lord Himself, and we absolutely want to glorify him in it… after all the Word says,

(Col 3:17) “Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.”

See, being a Mom is in large part, what we do- hopefully with joy and contented servitude . But it is not who we are. Just as a pastor is not who a man called to such a high purpose is. I do believe the Lord uses it every single day to develop our character, being mothers- to build us up into His likeness, add new dimensions to our ability to comprehend his endless LOVE to our maturity….all of it, but we do want to be careful here as we indulge in loving that calling to which we’ve been beckoned, this ‘shepherding’… We want to do it to the best of our ability, allowing ourselves to be saturated in it and changed along the way by it as we get closer and closer to the goal of SEEING JESUS, hopefully hourly and daily- but we do not want to get LOST in it.

HE, HIMSELF has already told us how we are truly found. We cannot hide in this identity. It isn’t one.

Friday-

Being a mom is precious, yes. It is highly esteemed in His eyes, yes. It is challenging and magnificently rewarding for us on one end of the spectrum. And then, monotonous and un-gratifying on the extreme other end…..but to lose OURSELVES in those adjectives would deny Christ and the very perfect work He did on the Cross in order to make US COMPLETE. And that's the last thing we want to do here!

Besides, our children will grow up. Our time will free up. It may not feel that way now, but as I remind myself often on difficult days, ‘The days (sometimes just the hours!) are long…but the years are short.” - Brian Buffini. It keeps me grounded in pouring myself out for these little ones. They won’t always be here. And as much refreshment as comes from them attaining upward degrees of self-sufficiency, also come grievings from my heart… You mean they won’t always say things like, ‘Mama, ahwwna hode joo’? I could just die inside! BUT, it is not my completion as a person. As much as I cherish it, it is not all that I am. Different seasons and pathways will come through my life, my Lord asking me to follow them and heed His word along the way. It will not always be that I have babies at home though I will always be a mom…and being a Mom fulfills me (on most days! When I’m not having an identity crisis over the kitchen sink! " ) ...but it does not complete me.

Being a Mom should not be a reason to be unavailable to other callings. Unmoved by other pursuits or passions. Uninvolved in the body of Christ as a servant. There will be seasons when God calls us to be home and tend purely to our own little flock, times when we’ve spread ourselves too thin across the board and He needs to reel us back in and restore us and our homes. But having children, even young children, even multiple young children, I don’t believe, is a solid case by which we should deny service to the Lord in the larger body of His sheep. Our children should see us in service to others. See us serving the body, building the body, honoring the Lord in this way can only develop our vision if HIM as a servant AND their character- and their own revelation of what true servitude is and all those it includes (them too!). In this way, we TEACH our children that which He’s taught us. To love one another in brotherly love… We also, in this way, fulill the goal of not only SEEING JESUS, but unveiling Him to our little ones.


Saturday-

Sunday reminded me of that goal. I am reminding myself, and you. We are victorious in all things IF we see Him. And along with that ability to SEE Him, inevitably exists the Word of God, which unveils Him to us and makes it possible in the first place.

Last point for now: Let's think of it like this.

Being a Mom is like wearing a crown- a God-given one. We do have a role of honor, but in comparison to CHRIST? To GOD Himself, the Giver of this crown???? In light of SEEING JESUS inside this honorable role, it is a crown we MUST cast before His thrown. In doing so, we FIND our true identity and significance- as a worshiper and servant of the Most High God- and simultaneously LOSE ourselves IN HIM. Casting our crown, in this way, if you think about it, even SHOWS our children how to do the same- with any stewardship God offers to them. We show them that without CHRIST, we are and have nothing to give! We should NEVER be ashamed to let our children see us casting our crown, even at our worst, crying out, “God, I NEED YOU, in order to be the mother You’ve asked me to be!”

It’s ok. I had a bad week, LAST WEEK. Maybe you did too. Or if not, likely at some point you will. Try to remember along with me that we serve a God of WAY beyond 2nd chances! We DO Have a goal: To see JESUS. To unveil Him before our children, even if it’s in brokenness. To cast our crowns before Him and be MADE COMPLETE, not by being the world’s greatest mom, but by owning that IN CHRIST alone we are made whole, then taking our wholeness and doing the job He's set before us!

I think if I can keep that front and center- I’ll be much changed in my journey of mommy-hood by the end of every single day- by seeing Him unveiled throughout it... I’ll bet you will, too.